Broken
by seismicmuffin
Summary: One-shot, Tartaros feels. Spoilers!obviously.


_Prompt: I just love Tartarus feels_

 _Word Count: 2,678_

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The darkness was creeping in, slowly dimming Lucy's vision and dropping the temperature. Almost everyone had gone their own way by now. It had been hours since the battle had ended. But Natsu hadn't moved. He was still, staring at the spot where Igneel had fallen. If Lucy hadn't seen his fist clenching and unclenching with quiet rage, she would have thought he was a statue.

She shivered as she felt the wind spread around her, scattering dust from the rubble. Tartaros, Fairy Tail, Magnolia, they were all one big ruin. The breeze was sharp as the cold pierced her skin. Her clothes had pretty much been shredded as usual and she was beginning to tremble. Natsu couldn't feel it of course. But she wouldn't leave him. He'd just lost his father, his mission. Ever since the moment she'd met him he'd been searching for the dragon named Igneel.

His wish had been granted and then just as swiftly taken away. To not only find him, but learn that he'd been 'living' inside him all these years…and then lose him. She couldn't imagine what he was feeling. Well…she could. But it was different. She'd lost a precious friend. They'd never meet again. But Aquarius was still living, breathing, _existing_ somewhere. The fact was comforting for the moment. She knew the tears would come soon and in torrents, but she wanted to be strong. For Natsu.

She felt sudden warmth as something softly landed on her shoulder.

"Lucy?" She turned her head to look at the blue Exceed and felt her chest tighten. His eyes were red and strained and his fur matted with dirt. "Is Natsu gonna be okay?"

His voice cracked a little and she pulled him into her arms in a gentle but firm embrace. It was the second time that day she'd held him like this. Rarely did she ever see Happy well…unhappy. It made her heart ache to see him like this. He was more than a friend, closer to a little brother or even, sometimes she imagined, a son. Regardless of the mutual teasing she loved him to her very core. The little cat and his adoptive father had come bursting into her life so quickly and then buried themselves so deep inside her heart that she knew she'd never be the same without them.

Her chest clenched tighter at the thought that she'd nearly lost everyone today. No one but her knew how she'd summoned the Spirit King and they had all been too relieved at the destruction of Tartaros to ask Lucy many questions. Everyone had been through absolute hell today. She could keep her grief to herself for now. There would be plenty of time to go over the details of the battle with her friends in the coming weeks.

Scratching behind his ears, she elicited a small purr as she said, "Natsu's always been able to bounce back from hardship…I'm sure he's going to be just fine," she did her best to give Happy a smile as she forced her tears back.

Her voice sounded strange to her, it was the only sound other than the wind in the abandoned rubble. Most of Magnolia's townspeople had fled from the destruction hours earlier. First, Cube appeared above the guild and then _dragons_ were fighting above the city; not to mention all the explosions…Lucy thought it would be a wonder if anyone ever came back.

Lucy could make barely out small identifying pieces of the guild around them. The splintered wood of the tables, crumbled statues, and there, atop the largest pile was a banner, nearly torn to pieces. A corner was stuck in between some rubble and it flapped lazily in the wind.

Lucy locked her gaze back on to her friend, still unmoving. She approached him slowly, giving him plenty of time to register her presence.

Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder and almost whispered, "Natsu?"

His head leaned a little in her direction, letting her know he heard what she said. His bangs hung in front of his eyes and Lucy could see the streaks his tears had made through the dirt on his cheeks.

"We should go…you need…to rest." If Lucy felt like absolute shit, she was sure Natsu felt worse. She'd nearly had her soul sucked out, almost been blown to bits –several times- and been poisoned. Not to mention summoning six Celestial Spirits in a span of a few hours. Then three at one time…her most dire moment…

 _Stop toying with her…finish her…now…_

 _Her friends are dead …so let me torture her for just a little longer…it's too early to die on me now!_

 _No…they're alive…I can still feel their magic…everyone always comes to my rescue…this time it's my turn to save them!_

Natsu's sudden movement jolted her thoughts away. Without a word he'd started making his way through the rubble. Happy still clung to her chest; she could feel his muffled sobs and knew he wanted to be strong for his friend, too. After a few minutes, Lucy realized they were walking towards her apartment. When she'd mentioned getting rest, they were the first words she could bring herself to summon. She hadn't thought about where they would go, she wasn't sure her home on Strawberry Street still existed. Natsu's house was an option but she knew she'd never make it that far. She was still wearing her barely-there Star Dress; the cold was now biting harshly at her skin and her legs felt like they might give way any minute.

It was a huge relief, really the only ray of sunshine during an unforgiveable storm, when they came to a stop outside her apartment. It had suffered only superficial damages from what she could tell; compared to most of the town it looked like a palace.

"Luuusheee…" the ball of fur in her arms had raised his head and met his eyes with her own, "Do you…have…any fish?" His lip trembled a little and she had to bite her lip to stop a giggle from bubbling to the surface. At least she knew Happy would never change.

"I think so…as long as you didn't eat everything in my fridge when you were over yesterday…" She forced herself to give him a little smile.

When she opened the door she exhaled loudly, relieved to see only a few shelves had been knocked over and her windows were still intact.

Turning to Natsu she gestured to the bathroom, "Why don't you go first? I'll fix Happy some fish."

He only nodded and made his way into the other room. He was starting to scare Lucy with his silence. Natsu was usually so easy to read and very vocal about everything. He was always the one cheering on others and giving words of encouragement. Lucy wanted to grab his shoulders and shake him harshly, to snap him back to his normal self, but she knew better. Losing a loved one in front of your eyes…there weren't many things worse than that.

Lucy cooked enough fish for Happy and Natsu, hoping she could coax the dragon slayer's personality out with an appeal to his stomach. After setting the plate of food on the table, she could feel the weight of the day slowly creeping up on her. She sat down on the edge of her bed, wishing Natsu would hurry up so she could have somewhere to hide. She couldn't hold it in much longer.

The dragon slayer could hear Lucy's choked sobs from inside the bathroom. He absolutely hated it when she cried. Natsu clenched his fists and focused his thoughts on the soapy water around him and tried to wash away the memories so fresh in his mind.

 _Can't you hear it…this voice…it's Acnologia!_

 _Natsu? You're burning up!_

 _Igneel? Why is your voice…?_

He shuddered as he remembered the feeling. He thought his heart was going to burst, he had felt the strain with every atom of his body…and then…

 _Natsu…I hope you can forgive me…for everything…the truth is…I've always been…right inside of you…_

 _This whole time…_ _ **this whole time**_ _I've been looking for him…_

He had felt so much relief and happiness. There was his father, Igneel, flesh and blood right in front of his eyes and they were fighting a common enemy, just like Natsu had always imagined. But it had been short lived.

 _I believe that you, of all people, are capable of defeating E.N.D…the days I spent with you were the happiest of my life...you gave me the strength to love another…_

 _ **I have things I want to share with you Igneel!**_

 _I am with you now and always…show me how you've grown…show me the way you live your life…_

 _ **I will live on…I will become stronger…to defeat Acnologia!**_

It was a promise he intended to keep. He would show his father, he would show everyone. He wouldn't allow the Dragon King to take anything else from him or his friends…they'd all lost seven years…Lucy never had a chance to repair things with her father… _Igneel_ …the next time he and Acnologia met, it would be the end.

When Natsu emerged from the bathroom, Lucy quickly tried to compose herself. She had slumped over on her bed, her breath coming in strangled sobs. Happy had come to sit on her lap, trying to comfort her, but his little tear-stained face and singed fur only made it worse. Natsu had stayed in the closet longer than he needed; to give Lucy more time. The salty scent of tears had assaulted his nose when he opened the door and he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep himself together much longer if he saw her broken. He stared at the drawer in front of him and felt a sharp stab in the pit of his gut. He slept over at Lucy's so often that the blonde had cleared a spot in her dresser for the clothes he inevitably left there. They were so ingrained in each other's lives…

Lucy took this opportunity to quickly enter the bathroom and shut the door with a snap. In here, she could let herself go a little. At least Natsu was cleaned up and if he wanted to go home he had the chance.

She made the bath extra hot, hoping to burn off the terrors of the past day. Bitter tears stung her face and crept down her neck to merge with the steamy water. Maybe if she'd been stronger…trained harder…Virgo and Loke and done their best and it might have been enough if that demon had stayed dead…

 _What did you do?! You stupid bitch!_

The memory of Jackal's words cut her like a knife, opening the deep wound she'd tried to shut these past couple of hours, they echoed in her brain and bounced around until she couldn't control the tears any more.

 _I can't lose…_ _ **I can't lose**_ _…not until I save everyone…_

 _Princess, don't! Your body can't…!_

 _ **Gate of the Water Bearer I open thee, Aquarius!**_

 _You idiot girl…_

The image of Aquarius swam to the front of her mind…her oldest friend, wearing her ever-present scowl. The tears flowed stronger knowing she'd never hear another insult from those lips…

 _Looks like summoning three was her last resort…we should make her suffer some more…_

 _I can't let it end like this…I've got to save everyone…I've got to…_

 _He's too powerful…I can only buy you time Lucy…listen to me…there is one option left for you…_

 _There must be an incredible bond of faith and trust between the Zodiac Spirit and the Celestial Mage for this to work…_

 _Destroy my key…and you have the power to summon the Celestial Spirit King…_

 _I can't do that! I can't sacrifice one of my precious friends to save someone else…there must be another way!_

 _This is the only way!_

 _I don't care if you hate me…I love you Aquarius…you were my very first friend…I can't lose you!_

 _What's more important to you?! Keys? Memories? Guilt? Or the power to save your friends! This is something no one else but you can do!_

 _I love you…Aquarius…_

 _JUST DO IT!_

 _ **Open Gate of the Celestial Spirit King!**_

 _I swear upon my old friend's determination and our contract…_ _ **I will destroy her enemies…**_

 _You bitch! I'll blast you into oblivion!_

 _I can cry later…now to save my friends…_

Lucy's chest clenched tighter, she thought the force might suffocate her; it made it so very hard to breath. She found only a small bit of relief in the memory of Jackal's stunned face when she cast _Urano Metria;_ she hoped with every cell in her body that the sadistic demon was rotting in hell where he belonged.

She had been helpless for the rest of the battle and could only look on as her friends fought fiercely. It had all come down to the dragons…

Natsu's scream of anguish as Igneel fell from the sky would haunt her forever. She'd never seen him so torn by grief. She remembered how she'd been after her mother died, she'd been all alone. At least Natsu has his nakama to help him; she knew he'd pull through. He had to. Fairy Tail wouldn't be the same without the boisterous fire mage. It wouldn't be the Fairy Tail she fell in love with.

She steeled herself before opening the bathroom door, she'd had a small nagging thought that he might not be there when she came out. She tried to push it to the edge of her mind and was so very relieved to see that he had gone to lie on her bed. Facing the window with his arms crossed against his chest and Happy curled up on a pillow above his head. It was a familiar and comforting scene.

Lucy had so many things she wanted to tell him. That you need to let your friends in, if you try to take on the grief alone it could bury you. The pain will always be there but it will dull with time. Words of advice and encouragement she wanted to share with her partner, her best friend, but it would be better to wait and give him his space. They would have plenty of time to help each other heal in the coming weeks.

She went to lie next to him on her back, and stared at the ceiling, trying to coax her mind into a calm sleep. Just inches away from her she could feel the heat of Natsu's magic pulsing off him. The soothing warmth pulled her towards him and she slowly turned on her side and stretched her hand to stroke his hair. She didn't think she'd ever touched his salmon locks before, not on purpose and certainly not in such an intimate way. After a few minutes of gentle tugging he turned slowly over to face her and their eyes met for the first time since he'd been freed from Alegria. She could see the pain and fear in his dark irises.

She saw something else there and smiled, "You have flecks of green in your eyes."

She saw them widen slightly, knowing that was probably the last possible thing he thought she'd say. After a moment, he reached out and moved a strand of hair that had started to fall across her face; after he tucked it behind her ear he trailed a single finger along her cheek, leaving a warm tingle behind. She placed her hand over his and pulled it to herself, squeezing gently before she rested her head next to her guild mark. After massaging his calloused fingers between hers, she closed her eyes and felt Natsu scoot closer and then the pressure of his head on her arm.

They stayed like that for a long time, before Lucy broke the silence again, "Natsu?" she spoke softly just in case he had fallen asleep. She felt, rather than heard his low huff of acknowledgement, his breath hot against her collarbone, "We…we'll always be there for each other…right?"

He didn't answer.

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 _So how was it? Sweet? Cheesy? Terrible and I should just delete and start over? [just kidding, right?]_

 _Thanks for reading_!


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